I don’t like mysteries. Sitting on the edge of my seat biting my fingernails is not my idea of a good time and if I read a murder mystery I always read the last page first.
Just like I don’t like mysteries in fiction I like mystery in real life even less: The life that Ryan and I have built together over the last 25 years is structured, organized and utterly predictable– which is fine with me. Knowing this you can easily understand why suddenly having a poltergeist in the house is turning into a major disruptive force.
I never actually believed in paranormal beings but I truly have no other explanation for the weird events taking place at home. For example last week I got home from work and found the laundry hamper on the dining room table. I thought this was an odd place for the hamper but I figured Ryan put it there for a good reason and so I moved it back to the laundry room and forgot about it.
Next day I could not find my laptop; again this was very odd because my laptop never leaves my desk. I went hunting and simply could not find it anywhere.
“Have you seen my laptop?” I asked Ryan and he hadn’t.
“Well you probably misplaced it,” he said. He paused. “ I think you’re getting forgetful,” he said, adding “Why did you put the laundry hamper in the garage?”
This threw me. “I was going to ask you why you put the laundry hamper on the dining room table, “ I said and he just stared at me.
That’s when we began to compare notes and made a list of things that were missing or misplaced. Ryan found the ugly ceramic parrot his mother gave us balanced on a roll of paper towels in the pantry. I found a photo album that we had not seen in years on the coffee table. Ryan was missing the old pair of flip-flops he wears to walk the dog, and my laptop was still MIA.
“Is someone coming into the house when we’re at work?” he asked, and my heart skipped a beat thinking that there were intruders in the house, but I immediately dismissed the thought since we have an alarm system and, besides us, only my sisters have the code.
“That makes no sense,” I said, “and besides, nothing is missing.” I thought. “Maybe Parker is the culprit,” I said. Parker, our 18 month old cat is a destructive force of nature, and we tend to blame him for everything , but he certainly did not put the ceramic parrot on top of a roll of paper towels.
For a moment I wondered if Ryan was just getting forgetful but I looked at him and knew he was wondering the same about me. “I didn’t do this,” we said together.
“I’m going to find your laptop,” said Ryan and began methodically going through every drawer, cupboard and closet in the house. I decided to warm up yesterday’s meatloaf for dinner. I opened up a kitchen drawer to get a knife and jumped back. We have a fake orchid on the dining room table and two leaves had been neatly cut off and placed carefully in the knife drawer.
Just as I was about to call Ryan I heard, “Eureka!” and he came into the kitchen bearing my laptop. “It was in the wall unit,” he said wonderingly. “Right on top of the turkey platter.”
I stared, eyes wide. “We don’t have a turkey platter,” I told him.