Jersey BBQ
My mother-in-law, Duckie, is 90 now, and she spends a lot of time watching cable news and reading the newspaper, and since she has the mind of a healthy 30 year old — she remembers everything she sees. Everything.
Home life
Of Elephants & Avocados
Dinner conversations with my family are quite confusing for Ryan who comes from a family of logical, structured New England Puritans; this is why he was delighted when my middle sister married Judson. Since Judson is a CPA, Ryan was certain he would bring a sense of logic and order to our table talk. Ryan
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Tea for Two
Mid-life crises come in many shapes and sizes. My younger brother’s came after he had his second heart attack before the age of 45 after which he quit his job, sold his South Florida house and bought a double-wide outside of Ocala where he can commune with nature and listen to the dueling banjos.
That Shit Will Kill You
It had been a long day and by 3:00 I was already exhausted — but we were hosting a barbecue at 5 and I definitely needed a jolt of energy so on the way back from Publix I stopped at 7-Eleven and bought myself a Red Bull. A big one.
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Don’t Shoot the Messenger
“Don’t shoot the messenger,” said the realtor and I was immediately wary. When someone begins a phone call with “Don’t shoot the messenger” it is never a good sign.
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Crock Pot
My older sister recently cleaned out the storage shed in her backyard, although to say it was “cleaned out” is kind of an understatement. Her exterminator reported that he found what were undeniably rat droppings in her shed, and that shed was emptied, dismantled and hauled away by the end of the week. My
Does A Chicken Have Lips?
A friend who has a PhD in Psychology is considered the underachiever in her family. Her father is a cardiologist and her mother is an OB-GYN. Her sister, to whom she does not speak, is an anaestesiologist and her brother, to whom she also does not speak, is a brain surgeon. “I’m the black sheep,”
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The Joy of Texts
My younger brother and my middle sister were able to retire well before their 65th birthdays. They retired with the naïve optimism that they would finally be able to travel, spend time with old friends and maybe fix that leaky gutter over the front door.
Adam’s Apple Pie
When I was young I thought my mom was the best cook in the whole world. As I grew up I realized that I was, perhaps, biased and that there were, perhaps, better cooks. But I still assumed that all men thought their mothers were good cooks. Then I met Ryan.
No Substitutions
It was supposed to be a quiet Sunday breakfast. My younger brother was in town for the weekend so my family decided to rendezvous for brunch Sunday morning before he headed back upstate. My middle sister chose the place, a small pretentious pseudo-French bistro near the beach.