It was a bright, sunny Sunday and we had no plans beyond throwing some burgers on the grill for dinner. I was thinking it was a perfect day for a nap as I grabbed my Diet Coke and a magazine and headed out to the back porch; then, sighing contentedly, I settled myself comfortably onto my favorite old chaise lounge, Ali by my side.
I had just closed my eyes when the threadbare mesh fabric of the chaise gave way and before I knew it my butt was on the floor, my legs were in the air and the Ali and I were at eye level. My partner, when he was able to stop laughing long enough to speak, mentioned that perhaps my nightly ice cream habit was getting out of hand. A half hour later we were shopping for a new chaise lounge.
We spent most of the afternoon searching but the only one we both liked was a sporty little wicker number that retailed for a cool $500. As we drove home we were outraged. “$500 for a chaise lounge that the dog will use more than us?” I asked.
“We did not pay that much for our sofa and love seat set,” my partner pointed out truthfully
On the way home my friend Ron called. I told him about our futile shopping trip and the $500 chaise and he referred me to an Internet retailer who he claimed sold quality patio furniture for cheap. I was skeptical , but as soon as I got home I went on-line and found what looked like the exact same $500 chaise for only $75, with free shipping. Delighted, I ordered two, with turquoise cushions.
Five days later our chaises arrived, wrapped in acres of bubble wrap. They were beautiful, and very sturdy, but the cushions were a garish orange, not the cool turquoise we expected. “It’s always something,” I muttered, as I picked up the phone.
The customer service rep, Amber, was sympathetic and eager to help. She told me that she would send out two turquoise cushions immediately, as well as an airbill to return the two lurid orange cushions.
Amber was as good as her word and 5 days later my partner and I received another orange cushion via FedEx, along with a letter saying the other cushion was on backorder. I called Amber right back and she was sympathetic. She told me that they were out of individual turquoise cushions, but they had the cushions available as part of the complete chaise lounge set, so she would send two more complete sets along with an airbill to return everything else.
This made no sense, but I agreed and five days later we got another garish orange cushion from FedEx. The next day we got two new chaises with turquoise cushions. Two days later FedEx came by with another huge parcel and I refused to open the door, so the driver left another 2 chaises with no cushions on the front porch. Notably absent with all these deliveries were any return airbills.
As my partner and I looked at our patio I had a horrible thought. “Are we being charged for all of this?” I wondered, but a quick on-line search revealed just the original $150 charge.
Amber was sympathetic. “Our shipping department does this all the time,” she said confidentially. “I’ll send you some return airbills.”
That was five weeks ago and we have not heard another word from Amber, nor were we ever charged for the four additional chaise lounges. Our patio now resembles the deck of a very small, very crowded cruise ship, and friends are mystified.
“I would have never thought to mix orange and turquoise,” said my friend Carlos diplomatically.
“Neither did we,” I answered honestly.