It was my own fault. In a weak moment, caught up in a burst of misplaced optimism about the future of our country I opened a campaign email and on impulse, with just a couple of quick keystrokes, I donated $3.00 to Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign. Within seconds Hillary herself sent me a very gracious email thanking me for my generosity and assuring me that my donation would help to save democracy as we know it.
That’s when Rosa, our Office Manager, walked into my office. “You look very pleased with yourself,” she said.
I nodded benevolently. “I just saved democracy,” I said. “I donated $3 to Hillary’s campaign.”
Rosa shook her head. “You’ll regret it,” she told me.
“I’m sure you’re wrong,” I said.
“I’m sure I’m not,” said Rosa.
That’s when I heard several familiar “dings” and I turned to my computer; I was surprised to see a whole slew of new email messages. I had a personal note from Bill Clinton asking me if I could spare $10 for Hillary’s campaign, and a separate message from Chelsea asking me to donate $20 a month to her mother’s campaign. Another email requested a “small donation” to help Democratic Congressional candidates and yet another was a request for a donation to “retake the Senate.”
Incredulous, I heard more “dings” and I saw new emails from Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden who all wanted cash, and I got another email from Hillary: “I haven’t heard from you in a while,” this email began and, apoplectic, I looked at my watch: It had been 20 minutes since I made my last donation.
I was about to go tell Rosa that, as always, she was right, but my cell phone rang. The phone showed an unfamiliar number from area code 904, but I picked it up and got a recording: “Please hit ‘1’ to hear an important message about how to save our country I heard and of course I hung up.
A minute later the phone rang again from “No Caller ID” and, wondering, I answered. “Are you interested in saving democracy?” asked a pleasant sounding young man.
“Not if it costs me money,” I said, and hung up.
During the afternoon I got numerous emails and 4 more calls, all from “No Caller ID,” and I ignored them all because I was waiting on a phone call from a client in San Francisco (area code 415) and did not want to be tied up with any nonsense about preserving the American way of life. Then at 4:15 I got a call from a phone number with a 415 area code, so I answered.
“Hello,” said a cultured female voice. “I’m calling for Nancy Pelosi.”
I had had enough. “I’m sorry,” I said politely. “Nancy is not here right now. May I take a message?”
There was a long pause. “No, I don’t want to speak to Nancy Pelosi. I have a message for you from Nancy Pelosi.”
“You have the wrong number,” I said evenly. “There’s no one here by that name.”
“I want you,” said the voice, with an edge now. “Nancy wants me to give you a message.”
“If Nancy’s message is a request for money,” I said, “you may tell her that if I get one more phone call from one more Democratic politician asking for money I am voting for Donald Trump.” I was all set to say more but the cultured lady hung up on me. I sat back, pleased that I had had the last word.
A second later my phone rang again. “No Caller ID” showed in the display.