When I walked into the office Monday morning it seemed different somehow, but before I could figure out why, our Operations Director was in my face. “Jeremy is gone,” she said. “He cleaned out his desk over the weekend.”
I sighed. It was Monday morning and having to deal with staffing issues was the last thing I wanted. “Have you heard from him?” I asked, but she hadn’t.
I had mixed emotions. On one hand, our office is always understaffed and with the summer vacation season starting, losing a full-timer was going to be tough. On the other hand, if we had to lose someone, Jeremy would have been my first choice.
Jeremy is 28 going on 15. He spends his days on Facebook and YouTube and sends text messages during staff meetings. He doesn’t answer the phone because he can’t hear it over his I-pod. Most days I am unsure if I am Jeremy’s manager or babysitter.
I went to my desk and opened my email, and sure enough Jeremy had emailed me. “Dude,” his email began, instantly irritating me. “Working full time is too stressful and with all I have going on in my personal life it is too tiring.”
Jeremy has been in the workforce for not quite three years; I’ve been working full time since my dad died when I was 16. “Let’s chat after you’ve worked for 30 years,” I thought, “and we’ll talk about “tired.”
His email was rambling and nonsensical, not unlike Jeremy himself, and he ended by wishing me well and hoping I would give him a good reference. “Yeah, right,” I said to myself and got to work.
I made 2 phone calls. First I called a contract worker, Laura, and offered her Jeremy’s job and she said she would start that afternoon. Then I called Ashley, who has wanted to work for us for months, but we never had an opening for her. She agreed to start the next day. I had been in the office 30 minutes and my staffing issues were solved. I sat back in my chair with the satisfaction of a job well done.
At noon Jeremy called me. This was unexpected, but I thought it showed some character that he at least was going to chat man to man about his sudden departure.
“Dude,” he said, “I need advice. How do I file for unemployment?” For one stunned second I was sure I had misunderstood. “Excuse me?” I said politely.
“How do I file for unemployment?” he asked insistently. “Any idea how much money I’ll get? Or when I’ll get my first check?”
My day suddenly improved. “Jeremy,” I said softly, “you’re not eligible for unemployment. You resigned. In writing.” I let this sink in as I imagined his blood pressure increasing. “Really?” he croaked. “Really,” I said. He was silent for a long minute. “I’ll call you back,” he said.
Twenty minutes later he called back. “Dude,” he said, “you’re right. I guess I need to un-resign.” I made my voice as gentle as possible. “I’m sorry,” I said, “but I’ve already filled your position.” I would have said more but he hung up on me.
I spent the afternoon changing locks and passwords and I spent the rest of the week orienting Laura and Ashley to their new positions. By Friday things were progressing famously so I took Ashley and Laura to lunch. I was looking at the menu so I did not see the waiter approach, but I heard a familiar voice. “Dude,” said the waiter, “can I get you something to drink?”